smol quest
| icon | info |
|---|---|
 | King of Hazard Land! Earn all Trophies in the game. "You. Are. The. MAN! (Unless you are a lady. In which case, I apologize.)" |
 | It's HAZARD TIME! Start your first game. "Thanks for buying my game. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. --Sincerely, Matt Hazard" |
 | Take 5. Pause the game for the first time. "Hey...come back here and play!" |
 | Straight-A Student Complete all of the in-game tutorials. "Like I had any choice..." |
 | Hands-On Approach Defeat an enemy using melee combat. "I don't need a stinkin' gun to deal with YOU!" |
 | Eat FIST! Perform 10 single-hit melee kills. "In Hazard Land, the hand can be used like a knife." |
 | Feeling Punchy Defeat five enemies in a row using melee combat. "Not as fast as shooting...but it sure is satisfying." |
 | Headache Score 20 headshots. "A shot in the head is worth two in the chest." |
 | Migraine Score 50 headshots. "That's using your head!" |
 | Head of the Class Score 100 headshots. "Don't lose your head! Oh...too late." |
 | Better Than One Score two headshots with one bullet. "Eat lead...both of you!" |
 | Plink Kill 50 enemies with the Hazard pistol. "Frag you." |
 | Pull! Kill 50 enemies with the shotgun. "That was a blast!" |
 | Auto Dealer Kill 50 enemies with the sub-machinegun. "You would think this one would have been automatic. Get it? Automatic? Nothing?" |
 | Russian Attack Kill 50 enemies with the AK-47. "They might be socialists, but they make a pretty good gun." |
 | Peekaboo...I Shot You! Kill 50 enemies with the Sniper Rifle. "Zoom, pow! Right to the moon." |
 | Blind Luck Kill 25 enemies using blind fire. "Sorry. Didn't see you standing there." |
 | Second Amendment Kill at least one enemy with every available gun. "The developers put all those guns in the game for a reason..." |
 | Say "No" to Pots Shoot 30 potted plants. "Look at 'em. Just sittin' there, bein' all green and stuff. They were askin' for it!" |
 | Fire Hazard Shoot and destroy 30 fire extinguishers. "Extinguishers. They're not just for fires anymore." |
 | Uncovered Destroy 20 destructible cover objects. "I know it's a waste of ammo...but I LOVE that de-rez effect!" |
 | Boom Blow up 50 explosive objects. "Hey...I didn't pay for 'em. Why should I care?" |
 | No Pain, No Gain Kill an enemy with an explosive that also damages you. "That's gonna hurt me more than it hurts you. Well...maybe not quite as much." |
 | Maxx Karnage Collect 20 Hazard pickups. "Maxx Karnage...sounds like a cool action hero name." |
 | Shield Master Collect 20 Master Shield pickups. "It's not like I was afraid of dying...I just wanted the trophy!" |
 | Just a Flesh Wound Complete a level without dying. "Eight million corpses in this level...and you're not one of them." |
 | Hazard Avoider Complete the game on the Minor Hazard difficulty setting. "Sure you won...my GRANDMOTHER could win on 'Easy!'" |
 | Pseudo-Hazard Complete the game on the Major Hazard difficulty setting. "Well...at least you didn't have it set to 'Easy...'" |
 | Hazard Master Complete the game on the Maximum Hazard difficulty setting. "You've done this before, haven't you?" |
 | Multiplayer Master! "What? No multiplayer? Sigh. Well...not like we can take the trophy back NOW..." |
 | ...Where Credit is Due Watch the credits from beginning to end. "Hey...aren't they the guys who made Dead Head Fred?" |
 | Disco is Dead Defeat Sonny Tang. "Sonny, YOUR ass is kicked!" |
 | Stung Defeat Sting Sniperscope. "Your present ends now." |
 | Head Cheese Kill all enemies in the butcher shop with head shots. "Nice shooting! But it's not like you're PAYING for that ammo. Feel free to use more." |
 | Meat Your Maker Destroy all of the meat in the Level 2 meat locker. "Have a beef with the owner? Steaking your claim? Beating your...hey, I can go on all day." |
 | Draw Kill 50 enemies with the Dual-Wield Six-Shooters. "Now all we need is the spaghetti..." |
 | Bedlam Basher Kill a Bandit from behind with a melee attack. "Good for you. Coward." |
 | Dances With Guns Complete both nightclub encounters without any of the dance-bots being destroyed. "Do dancing robots dream of disco sheep?" |
 | Russian to the Finish Defeat General Neutronov. "From Hazard, With Love." |
 | Deja-Vu Defeat Sting Sniperscope again in Level 3. "Your present ends now. Again." |
 | Death Hazard Score 20 single-shot Zombie kills. "Don't these things usually hang out in shopping malls?" |
 | Housing Crisis Escape from Dexter's mansion. "I gotta get me a house like THAT!" |
 | Pure Energy Kill 50 enemies with the Energy Pistol. "Blaster? I hardly know 'er!" |
 | Well, I Heard Them Scream Kill 50 enemies with the Plasma Rifle. "Plasma Rifles--they're not just for Space Marines anymore." |
 | Tramm Ride Defeat the Tentacle Beast of Tramm. "One-two shot right to the tentacles." |
 | Your Turn Defeat Altos Tratus. "Forecast for the next level: no more clouds." |
 | Talk! "What do you mean the interrogation feature was cut?!? Here...just take the trophy." |
 | Deja-Vu (All Over Again) Defeat Sting Sniperscope yet AGAIN on Level 7. "I. Have had. Enough. Of YOU!" |
 | Observe the Grenade Kill 3 Tester employees with a single shot from the grenade launcher. "Test the grenades: check!" |
 | Beat the Snot out of Wellesley with My Bare Hands Defeat Wally Wellesley in the final boss battle. "Like I said…" |
 | Meet Quentin. Meet Quentin. "DUDE!!!!!" |
