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R. Kelly's Protege Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it. | |
Duck Dynasty Used a Bass Sniffer Radar. | |
Here, Wilfred Gained your first dog helper. | |
Chapelle's Show Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut. | |
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun. | |
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes. | |
Someone's got a case of the Mondays! Survived Monday. | |
C U Next Tuesday Survived Tuesday. | |
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT! Survived Wednesday. | |
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays Survived Thursday. | |
Workin' for the Weekend Survived Friday. | |
Screw Bill Lumbergh! Survived Saturday. | |
I swear, I thought it was a home fill Exploded a nuclear bomb. | |
Cesar Millan is Very Happy Mauled 30 people with your dog. | |
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale Roasted 30 people with fire. | |
Rebecca Black's Nightmare Totaled 30 cars. | |
Hello, Newman Kicked 30 dogs. | |
Darth Maul'd! Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe. | |
Reddit would be proud. Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time. | |
Pussy on a Pedestal Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun. | |
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit. | |
Uncle T-Bag Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell. | |
Do you even Enzyte, bro? Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it. | |
Running With Scissors Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors. | |
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This! Killed over 1,000 people. | |
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree Killed all of the book protestors in the library. | |
Lieberman is our Leader! Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office. | |
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud. Killed 30 or more people of each skin color. | |
Can't Touch This Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face. | |
Fear and Loathing Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session. | |
Señor Cornballer Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform. | |
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM! Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm. | |
Rick Grimes 4 Life Made 30 zombies lose their heads. | |
Anustart! Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills. | |
40 Year Old Virgin Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) | |
CAN YOU DIG IT?! Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.) | |
Planet of the Apes: The Musical Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty. | |
Scientology Level: OT VIII Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty. | |
Fur Sure! Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them. | |
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head. | |
Where's Mr. McGibblets? Gave Krotchy the bad touch. | |
Finkle IS Einhorn! Gave a kickoff to a severed head. | |
Anger Management With Roger Clemens Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer. | |
Shiva Blast "Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow. | |
Don't taze me, bro! Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform. | |
I Am Legend Committed suicide... the Taliban way. | |
I should buy a boat Read the newspaper every day. | |
Friend of Dorothy Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level. | |
Officer McLovin' Asked a police officer to sign your petition. | |
Paid the Piper Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest. | |
Well, aren't YOU a badass Kicked open a door. | |
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you Put out someone that's on fire. | |
It's sterile and I like the taste Sucked down your own piss. | |
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway Killed someone who refused to sign your petition. | |
FAB-U-LOUS! Wore all three outfits. | |
I don't need virgins for this Suicide-bombed a Taliban member. | |
A-Rod Who? Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel. | |
Door Mat Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them. | |
Chuck Norris'd! Killed someone with a flying jump kick. | |
One time, at band camp... Saved the marching band from explody death. | |
There's always money in the banana stand | |
SCREW that game! | |
Found 'em faster than GWB | |
Gotta pay the Troll Toll | |
John Rambo'd! | |
Gary vs. The K. Man | |
You are not alone | |
Thanks for the money! Finished all seven days. | |
GABAGOOOOOL! Reunited with an old friend. | |
Holocaust: Part Deux Reunited with an old enemy. | |
Rain on your Wedding Day Reunited with an old flame. | |
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader. | |
Better than POSTAL III Rescued your loyal companion. | |
My Name is Jesus Completed Paradise Lost with no kills. | |
Harder than r/gonewild Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty. | |
Adderall4All Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.) | |
Ape Gape | |
Dick Message | |
PooMasher | |
Hobo Sexual | |
Ginger Mint | |
Ode to Eddings | |
Ladies Love Cake | |
Rich on Reddit Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors. | |
BioShocked Spent $2000 on vending machines. | |
Gettin DP'd Made 30 kills while dual-wielding. | |
You Snow Nothing John Blow Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone. | |
RAFIBOMB!!! Kicked 10 people in the balls. | |
I'm not even supposed to be here today! |